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Saturday, August 18, 2018

The symbol of power

The third season, after that night with the orc, my spoon had become stained with red blood. The DM took my character sheet and wrote down, "Red Wooden Cooking Spoon" under one of my attack slots. It was now a magical weapon that had a +1 to attack and damage with an unknown critical bonus. He said I could feel power covering from the spoon as I held it. So I kept on holding it.

  In towns, it was always in my hand. Whenever there was a fight, I was immediately ready to attack. And based on the rules in 3rd edition, I would normally have to spend an action to draw my weapon. But since no one questioned my spoon as a weapon, I usually got the first strike in. By this point, my spoon was doing actually slicing damage. I hadn't gotten a critical, but that was about to change.

  We were in a fight with some bandits and had gotten to fifth level. Everyone was kicking ass, except for me. First tier wizards are still not great fighters when with a magical spoon. So I was more or less barely holding my own. Until I rolled a critical natural twenty. As it landed, the DM explained that I felt a rush magic surge through the spoon and tear open the armor of my bandit. A second later, his intestines spilled out onto the ground and he died. Everyone turned to me in awe. I held the spoon high and grinned at the other bandits in game. Their moral dropped and they gave up.

The DM took my sheet again and wrote down, "Red Wooden Cooking Spoon of Disembowelment." It has an automatic kill on a natural twenty attack roll. I was gaining strength, but I was still a two and a half foot aquatic pixie. At this point in the game, we were seventh level, about to turn eight. I had managed to stay alive and I was starting to do some damage with spells for a change, using my spoon as a wand.

All was well until we decided to steal a few magic items.

The second test of my Nixie

On my second challenge, the party has received a contract to hunt down a pack of six orcs. But before we were to leave, the group wanted to resupply. The ranger went to the fletcher, the barbarian went to the blacksmith, and the monk went to the cemetery to meditate. I asked to go to the magic shop. The

Again, we traveled outside the city and were attacked immediately by our prey. This was a running joke in the group to speed up finding the combat. In the same way as the last, I called out my enemy, one this time.

My first time Min/Max

I wanted to tell you about my first time I ever min/maxed a character.

The idea of a min/max is to get a few select traits of a character to be as high as the rules will allow by lowering the rest of the characters traits as much as possible within the rule set. Usually, it's a broken character. Doing massive amounts of damage in combat and never being able to reliably open a simple unlocked door. But broken can be fun. And at the time, a friend of mine wanted to start a first level any alignment campaign in 3rd edition dungeons and dragons. Since I had only played once several years ago and since I had read more of the supplemental books since then, I wanted to min/max.

  My concept was pretty fun. At the time, monster races were there thing to do and my DM was pretty slack about it. I liked the entire idea of wizards, after my fun experience with my last character, and thought of ways to improve things. I didn't like being hit in combat, so I chose of all things a Nixie. An aquatic pixie that has a swim speed, can breathe under water, and had a size category adjustment of +4 to his armor class. Meaning that he was hard to hit and could run if in a tight spot. The world I was everything had lots of rivers and streams, so I thought it was a great idea to mitigate the risks of being a wizard at low levels.

  I was incredibly wrong.

  During our first adventure, my group left to stop a band of kobolds from ransacking the travelling merchants in the area. A human ranger, a were-rhino barbarian, and an undead wight monk, and me a Nixie, set forth down the path out of town. The next morning we were attacked by eight kobolds with spears. As you might imagine, the DM was being nice and only sent one after me and the rest against the main party. And all too quickly, the ranger, barbarian, and monk had taken down seven kobolds. And then there was me. I blew my only magic missile and did one point of damage. Then it was on to my only weapon, a dagger. The first strike from the kobold landed with a lucky roll, and did two points out of the six health I had to start. My next attack swung beside him and missed. Then another lucky roll. There damage, I was down to one point of health. At this time, I had run away over a hill in an attempt to single out the enemy. Ironically, it was this reason why the rest of my group didn't come to help. I wasn't in ear shot anymore. The kobold was down to three points of health and I needed a miracle. I lunged and prayed and rolled an attack of nine and missed. Three next swing at me took me down to negative health. I yelled in pain and I was unconscious. The rest of the group finally heard me and was able to save me from the final blow.