Those that have worldly afflictions rejoice! to be a vampire is to have no disease. Vampirism cures all forms of cancer. It eliminates STDs, HIV, ans even AIDS. So become a vampire now and never worry again!
(Paid for by the VFTCC:Vampires For The Change Committee)
***Vampires in no way endorse this course of action. It is widely known that there are some extreme viruses that are contagious to vampires. Contraction of one of these viruses, like Ebola can cause a perpetual bleeding of all orifices for several decades. If you are a vampire, it is not advised that you travel to any third world countries such as certain parts of Africa in which Ebola is currently active.***
Remember, Vampires Are Forever. Unless you wish to die that is. So protect yourself at all times and stay clear of viruses fatal to humans.
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